How NOT to Climb a Mountain

In early 1980 I was nearing the end of my formal training as a counter-intelligence special agent for the USA Intelligence and Security Command. The course included Army personnel and Marines. We had a little weekend time off and the Fort Huachuca, Arizona weather was sunny and warm, so I decided to do my first ever one-man mountain climb of Huachuca Peak.

Donning a pair of walking shorts, a blue T-shirt, a cane and my walking shoes, I set out afoot for the base of the 8,410 foot mountain via Garden Canyon Road. As a 29 year old novice it never occurred to me to (1) check the weather report, (2) dress properly, (3) carry more than a single bottle of water, or (4) check with the post to ensure there were no live fire exercises going on nearby during the time of my hike/climb.

All went well until I reached a point approximately 100 feet from the top. At that time the skies around the peak turned dark and a thunderstorm erupted with goodly wind, rain and hail. Loosing my grip I was essentially blown off the face of the mountain, the first of two times for that to happen on the way down. Somewhere on the descent the water and cane went bye-bye.

By the time I made my way to the road I and my clothes were pretty well messed up, which might account for why no passerby would pick me up. Finally I made my way to the post hospital. Yet was that the end of my fun and games for the day? Not a chance.

The ER attending physician commenced examining me, asking for the story of how it happened. The tale was not even complete before he began laughing so hard that several minutes were required before he could repair the damages, none of which did anything for my bruised ego. During the process word must have gotten out. Several hospital staffers paused in the doorway, pointing and laughing "see, there he is. That's the one."

It almost goes without saying that over the remainder of the weekend word got back to the instructors and my fellow classmates in the course. Not exactly what an agent wants in his unofficial "portfolio."

There have been other mountain climbs since. However, learning from my mistakes I prepared ahead and did my homework for each adventure.